I've noticed that I am thinking more frequently about the things I used to do. Playing volleyball for example is an activity I miss; and riding my bike around the neighborhood. This reverie is all very nostalgic which is good. Looking through the memories of the days of yore reliving some old adventure or a long lost daily routine can be just the thing to revive a sagging spirit; especially if it involved other people.
A caution though; The sense of loss of people and things that went before can produce an unhealthy sort of nostalgia filled with longings which cannot ever be filled. This wishing that those days were back and would always stay just this way is a dreadful disease of the soul. Living in the past leaves your soul thin, almost transparent, because the context, that entire universe of the past does not exist. You can remember it but don't try and live there. On a side note, the folks who choose Hell will probably have to live in the past, haunted by their memories, since they have no future to speak of!
There is a goodhearted respectable version of the desire for things to stay the way they are. It typically has a beneficent nobility about it born out of the realities of the Kingdom of God and the hope of the new birth. It acknowledges the joys and sorrows of the past and then turns to blissfully contemplate the present and the future. We all have those moments when everything is just right and we think "ahh, if only...". Peter the Apostle did. He had just witnessed the event called the Transfiguration. In his enthusiasm
Peter said to Jesus, "Lord, it is good for us to be here; if You wish, I will make three tabernacles here, one for You, and one for Moses, and one for Elijah." Matthew 17:4
Noble Peter wants his experience to never change and even wants to provide a way for others to share the wonder. Lets build an all year camp and conference ground! Of course Jesus goes back down the mountain. He has people who need Him. Staying at Peter's conference center is not in the plan.
We may wrestle with this "need" for things to stay the same. After all if nothing changes we can have a sense of stability. We know what to do. We are static people. God, on the other hand, seems to be dynamic. He IS still the creator, its His nature to create. Creation is making something new.
Living in the context of God constantly bringing new adventures into my life requires a confidence in the idea that He has plans for me and they are for good, regardless of how odd or unexpected or difficult the new situation might be.
God loves me, for reasons I cannot comprehend. Parkinsons and then cancer have been unexpected new paths in my journey. They are the sort of gift that you open, blink, stare, blink again and then blurt out "thank you ... um ... what is it?" And six months later you wonder how you got along without it. I haven't quite figured out the why for this new path I'm following but I am expecting to see yet more of God's wonderous imagination.
